In covid19, emotions, healing, initiation, inspiration, mental health, motherhood, spirit, spirituality

March 2020 was 2 years ago,  and in the turning of this seasonal wheel, I have been in reflection of the lessons + blessings of this 2 year cycle. If you would like to join in this reflection – please share in the conversation over on my IG

I’m curious to know, how do you see the world now?

These last 2 years have been a great revealing, so much has changed in these 2 years. I certainly have a new appreciation for those I keep close, work, home, and community.

To transport to pre-pandemic 2020, is to dip into another version of yourself. Bless her up, and then return to this resilient body to be with your contemplation of this cycle.

If you seek support in closing out of this cycle for yourself, book a session with me + we’ll explore together, the integrations and gifts you are ready to bring forward this Spring.

I’ll tell you where I was 2 years ago now; I was sitting with the idea of expanding my space @thedharmatemple because we were outgrowing the physical capacity of our brick + mortar. 2 years to the date today, Dharma Temple, was full of people held for their uniqueness, presence, devotion, community connection + healing. I felt stable + On-Mission.

However, I was also sitting with a myriad of emotions connected to abuse within a yoga lineage I was very connected to and fostering community around some of its virtues + values. My last week with the Temple on Main, I was holding space for others to move through their grief/betrayal, while I began a journey to process my own. These past 2 years since have been a deep uncovering as well as new discernment and intergeation for both my partner and I, independently,  together, and within community conversation as well. This is another post 😉

It was an intense week leading up to the first lockdown in the Pandemic, one that still lives in my nervous system, as I’m sure yours on some level as well. The “unprecedented” weeks to follow were equally destabilizing, as I sat in anxious anticipation of “the next announcement” etc: this segwayed into a 2 year cycle.

We gave up our space, and the notion that things would go back to normal, pretty early on. We set down our lineage as it was, and did what all of us did on some level – went into survival mode. I focused on home learning with my daughter and my own de-conditioning. I leaned into my own regulation as a primary practice, as opposed to holding space for a room full of people and managing a center, social media or customer relations.  With everything stripped back, who was I now? This is a pertinent question to initiate any spiritual journey…and so it has been…

On the other side of these 2 years, I feel like I’ve dove into the depths, hovered lifelessly there, and re-emerged a new, a few times now, since March 2020. Can you relate?

I ultimately feel gratitude for the deepening of my relationship to the cycles of death and rebirth within my life, body and environment. As a culture we are composting the old, to give life to the new – this breakdown process has not been comfortable, easy or subtle.

There is no escaping this cycle. There is no changing the past. It is the beauty of life that we get to learn to trust ourselves, our strength, our relationship to Great Nature, and embrace evolution with every season of being.

This Spring, I feel the season of Rebirth. Sometimes our personal cycle does not line up with the external environment, meaning, it might not feel like Spring, as that’s of course totally ok, and, also, knowing our bodies, personal cycles + seasons to best work with our energy is so important.

The world has felt so dense, heavy, sad, heart-breaking lately, again, and – always. I have noticed feeling pangs of guilt, for the glimmers of hope that I have had a moment to enjoy, simple things, moments of freedom, connection… perhaps we all feel that sometimes with what we go through as empathic humans? With so much suffering, hurt, injustice and abuse – what is there to look forward to?  This feeling of hopelessness or supreme bleakness is part of the cycle. This is when things need to die in order to transform.

What we move on from, or let go of, becomes the foundation of what we can grow. Earth is very resilient, and also innert. As disruptive as these past few years have felt, they have also been felt slow. Slow to crumble,  slow to digest, slow to wake up, what is being burnt to the ashes + will ultimately be compost to birth something new. To feel connected to the Earth, is to trust.

At this moment, I look back and celebrate the innocence, freedom + joy I felt pre-pandemic. I honour the work I did, what I co-created, and how I impacted the people around me through upholding my vision + values to the best of my ability.

It all had to die in the ways that it needed to. It’s a part of my path, a part of my story ~ and now, there is a regeneration from the pieces that didn’t completely die off. My devotion didn’t die. My innate gifts didn’t die. My relationship to Spirit perhaps became stronger. In the ways I have held myself through these 2 years, I now come equipt to hold space for others, in addition to sharing the breadth of tools I have had the privilege to access + integrate with teachers in this lifetime. Letting go, practicing, pivoting, shifting, creating, communicating + re-visioning are all gifts I hold close to my heart having learned what I’ve learned.

I value nourishment, community, sustainability, creativity, embodiment + energetic sovereignty.

I am here as a Nurturer. A Healer. A teacher – not one who knows more or better, but as a sister, a future ancestor and a reverent emissary for the Earth + wisdom teachings.

Something new is emerging. A new world is birthing. The village is here to raise up the youth. What feels fresh and new? What is beginning for you?   What needs weeding? What needs tending to and bolstering?

Again, wherever you are in your process – I am here for you. Reach out for a session, and we can unpack where you’re at in closing out this 2 year cycle, and bring yourself in this next season with gratitude + confidence. If you feel called to go deeper, my Spring Session is now receiving intakes for a 3-month personal guidance journey. Learn more about the Spring Session here.

As we ride the turning of the wheel, may you look towards what feels bright, fresh + invigorating to you.

Many Blessings,

Love SJ



Recommended Posts

Leave a Comment